Mango Sorbet with Sunflower Seeds is Better than Sex

— it's not just because I'm celibate.

Here I am again, joyfully edging closer to another birthday with no birthday sex in sight. I’m excited! I’m relieved. I’ve found a replacement for (hetero) sex that doesn’t throw off my PH balance or emotional boundaries. It’s MANGO SORBET. (See recipe after the jump).

A new wave of abstinence from sex

Like feminism, there's a new wave of people turning to voluntary celibacy to maintain their peace in an unhinged dating world. While I’m still learning to tow the fine line between solitude and isolation in relation to all people—celibacy is often a ritual I occasionally turn to. It’s a healthy act of rebellion from my otherwise kinky modalities and a literal form of self-preservation and respite. Maybe it’s my 4th house Virgo moon placement; perhaps because I get off on the tension and anticipation that builds when you only kiss and make out. Maybe it’s because, at 40 years old, I’m having the best sex of my life, and I prefer quality over quantity. Why engage in mediocrity when I’m already satisfied and content?

It hasn’t been all holy water and divine blessings. I’ve been broken up with it because of being celibate. Some flat-out have told me that there must be something wrong with me because I was remaining abstinent. Others saw it as a challenge—seeing if they could break me. But what I’ve gained from taking intentional breaks from sex are better and multiple orgasms that joyfully crash like waves into a pristine Caribbean shore.

Listen, as a sex-positive person; I do not believe sex to be inherently bad. It’s just that the streets have been talking, and the casual sex that is being had is, indeed, bad—mediocre at best. It could have something to do with our modern dating app culture and the endless swipes of soon-to-be sexual partners who are treated more like commodities rather than actual bodies. Maybe it has something to do with the shitty person attached to said sexual organs. Maybe it’s because, as a society, we seem to care less about the sacredness of the human body and are numbed by extreme violence and ongoing genocidal wars. We’re just not as into sex. Are we subconsciously too sad to fuck?

But you didn’t come here for all of this. You came to learn how to make homemade mango sorbet, so let’s get into it:

Sexy, succulent mango

It’s officially mango season in most tropical regions of the world, and I’m seeing a lot of mango memes and content in my feeds. Why is mango so damn sexy? Is it because eating mango privately when no one is watching is akin to cunnilingus? Some spiritual people refer to mango as a manifestation of god’s love. Could mango represent both?

The Mexican mango season kicks off in late March, depending on where you live. It extends all the way through early September, starting from the lush southern states of Chiapas and Oaxaca, then making its way up the west coast through Guerrero, Michoacán, Jalisco, Nayarit, and wrapping up in Sinaloa. About 65% of all mangos imported into the US come from Mexico. That’s how much of a thing mangos are. In some recent IG stories, you may have noticed me making a lot of mango sorbet while testing recipes with the Nama juicer/sorbet machine Xmas gift I finally smuggled here to Mexico City. This machine is my new friend, damn near a wing woman when it comes to facilitating new relationships with mango. Since opening it, I now make oat milk twice a week, green juice recipes three times a week, and sorbet every fucking night. Sans the fucking. But I’ve also tested sorbet recipes you can make from home without a sorbet or ice cream machine. One of the best I’ve tried is the recipe below.

Hormones & sunflower seeds

I love topping my sorbet with sunflower seeds. My favorite is the combination of contrasting textures and the complementary flavors of a nutty, savory profile with sweetness. It’s why there’s an entire toppings bar at any ice cream stand. I’m also heavy into seed cycling for PMS and helping to balance my hormonal body. Sunflower seeds aid in estrogen detoxification within the liver, which can be beneficial during the luteal phase when estrogen levels decrease and progesterone levels increase. So I eat them every day during days 16-28—just after ovulation—right before when I start to endure the hormonal fluctuations that contribute to my mood imbalances.

Sunflower seeds have been long known by nutritionists for their abundance of vitamin E and antioxidants (vitamin E has been associated with alleviating symptoms of PMS. These teeny suckers are also a noteworthy source of omega-6 fatty acid and magnesium, a mineral that supports the bitchy trinity of anxiety, irritability, and menstrual cramping. Eat a handful of sunflower seeds daily (with sorbet) during your next luteal phase and let me know if you see a difference in the quality of your cycle and sex life.

Mango Sorbet recipe